Life Lessons from an almost “Valentine’s Baby”
- Posted on Feb 14, 2024
My daughter was almost a “Valentine’s Day baby”.
Embracing the unexpected can lead to the most rewarding experiences. Reflecting on the birth of my daughter, I realized that the journey was a perfect metaphor for navigating life’s challenges.
After 24 hours of natural, unmedicated labor, my daughter arrived February 13th at around 10:30pm. The process was intense and challenging, but also incredibly rewarding. I was surrounded by a supportive team – my spouse, my Doula, and my parents. Each played a unique role, demonstrating that support comes in many forms.
Surprise, surprise – Not everything went according to plan, but I learned that it’s okay. In life, as in labor, we must be prepared for the unexpected. We must equip ourselves with knowledge, trust our instincts, and lean on our support systems. I took one of those “birthing classes” because I was anxious and unsure, I’d be able to make it through.
I researched what a “birthing plan” was and created my own. I understood that as a black woman, my chances at being discriminated against and having adverse outcomes for me and my child were more than my non-black peers. I read about a statistic that showed women with Doulas had healthier (emotionally and physically) labor and deliveries. One of the many things I did to support myself was to hire a Doula out of pocket, despite it not being covered by my health insurance.
During labor, a group of medical students tried to observe my natural birth process. I was not interested in being put up on display during these sensitive moments. I was too focused on each contraction to ask them to leave. My Doula , knowing my birthing plan wishes, promptly sent them on their way. This reminded me of the importance of having someone to advocate for you in vulnerable moments. My Doula was a blessing.
My parents were present, providing comfort through their mere presence. My father, respecting my privacy, stayed near the door, pretending to read the newspaper. His silent support reminded me that sometimes, just being there is enough.
My spouse, though nervous, followed the Doula’s lead. They both offered words of encouragement. His support, coupled with my mother’s limitless positive energy and optimism, kept me going.
The lessons from this experience are universal.
- Prepare for the unexpected.
- Take charge of your education and learning to calm your fears and increase confidence.
- Surround yourself with a supportive team.
- Understand that support can be active or passive.
- Foster and surround yourself with positive energy. Energy, positive or otherwise will seep into everything. Be deliberate about the type of energy you let into your space.
- Always, without fail ask for what you need (verbally and/or written word).
- And remember, good things come to those who wait.
I find it amazing how I discover new lessons each time I reflect on my daughter’s birth.
Have you had a similar experience where you continue learning from something that’s happened in the past? I’d love to hear about it.
#LifeLessons #Support #Positivity
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