Reference Letters So Good They Don’t Call Your References

  • Posted on Oct 9, 2024

Before you step into your next adventure, there’s one crucial task you shouldn’t overlook: securing reference letters. This influential document can be a powerful tool in your career arsenal, opening doors and setting you apart from the competition. The best time to get yours is before you resign from a job or finish an internship.

Why are letters of reference so important? Unlike a list of references, a well-crafted letter speaks positively about you, capturing your strengths and achievements in a way that a quick phone call might not. It provides a consistent, glowing account of your capabilities, unaffected by the mood or memory of your reference.

And let’s not forget: People die. This may sound morbid, but I’m not going to sugar coat anything when my goal is to help you achieve your dream career lifestyle. It’s a straight up fact that reference letters are practically immortal! If you’re not prioritizing securing one (or more), then you’re doing yourself a disservice.  

To make the process easier, volunteer to draft the letter yourself. This not only saves time for the person writing it,  but it also ensures that the letter highlights the qualities and accomplishments you want to be remembered for. Once drafted, the reference can simply tweak it to add their personal touch.

What I find fascinating is that after I provide my clients with the exact script to offer to draft the letter (1) roughly 60% of those they provide a draft to return the letter with zero changes, (2) another 30% make minor tweaks, and (3) about 10% decline the offer to receive a draft, and instead prefer to write their reference letter from scratch, all by themselves. The truth is, there are some people who take deep pride in writing a reference letter while others see it as another thing to do on their long to-do list. Then, there’s those folks in between who are happy to write a letter, but who are too busy to do the letter justice. Sometimes these same well-meaning people simply lack the capacity to write a letter that will get you the results you want: Their heart is in the right place, but their ability or bandwidth is not.

Does the idea of drafting such a letter feel awkward or inappropriate to you? That’s fine. This article isn’t for you. I’m not here to change anyone’s opinion, but I am here to be a resource for those who are ready to try something better and different to get the results they want.

For those who want to keep on not offering to draft reference letters, they might find that the final letter comes very late, if at all. To add fuel to the fire, the letter they receive risks the chance of being lackluster and disappointing. By providing a draft to the reference, the final letter is ready significantly sooner and its more effective because it can be crafted to focus on the jobs you want instead of the job you had.

When I started career coaching over 20 years ago, this strategy came out of my commitment to serve my clients. It hurt my heart to see them so utterly disappointed and devastated after waiting (sometimes months) to receive reference letters that fell flat or did more harm than good. What do I mean by “more harm than good?” Well, for example, one of my transgender client’s reference used incorrect gender pronouns and they took forever for them to update the letter. By then, we decided it was probably a micro-aggression and we ended up having to start over with a difference reference, and this is after waiting months for the first one.

At the end of the day though, once I started advising my clients to offer to draft the letter themselves, we practically never had this issue ever again. Not only that, but the recommendation letters were strategically used during key parts of the job search process that helped them stand out in a positive way.

Although I’d advise my clients to offer to draft their recommendation letter, the other secret is – they actually never do. As their career consultant, I coached them through a few key questions and drafted the letter for them. Then, they provided the draft to the target recommender. Easy-peasy.

Key Tips:

(1) Don’t date the letter: This way, it remains timeless and can be used whenever you need it. Also, include at least one personal email or phone number for your reference. People change jobs, and having a personal contact ensures future employers can still reach out for verification.

(2) Get the letter while you’re still there: The best time to ask for a recommendation letter is before you leave your job or internship. This proactive step can make a significant difference in your career journey, especially when it comes to (1) the information being fresh in the mind of your reference and (2) receiving your letter sooner rather than later.

(3) Take advantage of this hack:  Powerful reference letters are one of the biggest hacks in the job search that can make or break your job offer. If you’re getting interviews, but not offers – it’s often because of lack of fit or lack of strong references. Keep in mind that just because someone is willing to say good things about you, doesn’t mean they are able to say the right things. Reference letters help mitigate this. If when asked for references, all you have to offer is names, emails, and phone numbers – you are shortchanging yourself.

I once had a client who was offered a job where they never called any of their references. My client gave their references a head-up about being called. After the job offer, my client contacted their references to thank them. Each reference confessed that they were never contacted by the employer in question. Later, my client asked their new employer about it and was told “Your reference letter were so outstanding, we didn’t need to call them.” The employer knew that if they wanted to verify the letters accuracy, they could always call the references directly, but they didn’t. Perhaps they were too busy or too impressed – I will never know for sure. To this day, I still find this pretty wild, especially as someone who’s been a human resources professional about as long  as I’ve been career coaching.

Perhaps if the jobs you’re applying to are under 50k a year, reference letters might not make or break your chances. However, if you’re seeking a job that pays well and has benefits, you’ll want to level up. Start to prioritize reference letters as a part of your job search strategy. When you do, it will help you in all aspects, including salary negotiation.

If you would like help securing reference letters that gets results, schedule a career consultation with me today.  Are you curious about how to strategically use your reference letters during key phases of the job search process? I’m happy to help!

#CareerAdvice #Referenceletter #JobSearchTips


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